remember in the 90’s when annoying young people uSeD 2 wRiTe LiKe tHis, and you had wished you’d invested more in the prophylactics industry? or at the least in the louisville slugger company? thankfully these days we have an equally, if not more annoying variant around that not only young(er) people feel the need to use, but even grown adults who want to sound both dumb and internet savvy while blending in with the 4chan and gaming crowd.  fuck you lolspeak.

this will most likely be a rant. it cant be helped…im exposed to it too frequently. i thought itd die away…but shit, those stupid lolcats just keep getting churned out. and having already been a closet grammar nazi, its slowly shaved away my sanity to the point of having to bitch about it here. for those fortunate enough to not be familiar with lolspeak, here’s a primer.  if there’s a way to piss all over the english language, both spelling-wise and grammatically, hey piss away.  for example, instead of saying “hey there good sir, can i possibly have a cheeseburger?”, the proper lolspeak vernacular would be ‘i can haz cheezburger?” it starts as a bundle of cute misspelling, especially when paired with kitten pictures.  but after the dickjillionth time, it just becomes what it was to begin with…stupid. no really…youre intentionally sounding like an illiterate moron. most people sound illiterate naturally…you dont need lolspeak.

i had written a summation comparing lolspeak to a three year old. but then that wouldnt be fair to my niece, who IS three, and speaks more eloquently than lolspeakers.