i think i should preface this entry with a statement. i am a dumbass. i am infinitely oblivious and am in serious need of a refresher course in “you fucking idiot, shes flirting with you.” right then, rewind back to friday. what did i do friday? oh right, miho’s live set. me, marisol, kev, and betty met up to check out miho (ex-cibo matto) at tonic. a country blues band came on first at 9, and miho came on at 10ish. the set was pretty coo…very chill, but my dinky digital canon couldnt get a single decent shot of the band…grr. stupid zoom. bettys bro met us up afterwards and we ended the nite at verlaine with drinky drinks.
SATURDAY
fish was coming off the injured list, so we chose a relatively calm ride for satty. we made our way out to the delaware river for some easy trails, starting in lambertville. the trails along the delaware river ride along old canals and train tracks on both sides of the river. so we took the trails northward alongside the old canals…easy and scenic. three bridges and eight miles north we crossed over to pennsylvania at bulls island and then took the trails south along the penn side canals. the penn side was nicely demarcated with red clay dust along the trails that clinged to everything, unlike the gray shale of the jersey side. super. another eight miles south, we hit new hope, the town across the river from lambertville. after a relaxing pitstop at the local starbucks (there really is one everywhere) we continued south another seven miles, crossed back to jersey, and made our way back north to lambertville. thirty miles…whew. it was running a bit late, so we caught a quick din at this (ridiculously nice) local restaurant…the landing…and then headed out.
DUMBASS
we decided to grab coffee and chess at our summit starbucks. fish was in the starbucks grabbing our drinks and i was sitting outside setting up the chessboard when i notice a really cute girl drinking inside with some people. i glance up again a few minutes later and all of a sudden shes outside standing next to me. she comments on the chessboard and asks if i was good at chess. i reply that i was so-so, so she goes, “oh, im reeeeeally good at chess.” i go, “really? thats coo. so, doooo…you wanna play?” she goes, “sure!” and hops onto the chair across from me. she takes white, and a few minutes later her kings dead. super. i swear i thought she was for real, and i didnt mean to lay the chess smackdown so harshly. and by the way, im playing this straight and absolutely nothings registering in my mind…in case you were wondering. regardless, the naivety continues when i go ahead and play another game with fish as the girl chats with her friends one table over. my mind is still running with the lights out even as she occasionally tosses over a wave. ok, i just have to stop this recap here…its embarassing. ill just say that things didnt start registering til i was halfway back to manhattan. did i mention she looked like natalie portman? somebody please kick me in the balls.
well, she was probably about 12 anyway.
oh, and you must be gay.
well i wouldnt make a big deal out of it if she was just pre-adolescent. but she wasnt. grr…
OH MY GOD YOU’RE AN IDIOT!!! i say this to slap you and your sex drive awake. Not that you need this analysis I’m about to give, but maybe next time a Natalie Portman look-a-like digs you it won’t go unnoticed.
1) Girls don’t play chess, and if they do, they don’t strike up random games with short asian guys purely for the purpose of playing.
2) When participating in any competitive event with a girl, do not beat them senseless. Show some restraint if you insist on winning. Unless they’re kicking your ass, in which case you better put up a good fight.
3) Girls don’t wave for no reason, especially when they’re with other girlfriends.
4) Anyone closely resembling Natalie Portman should immediatel cause you to immediately think about making babies. Or not making babies, but at least the act of baby making.
Tien, go kick Halo in the balls for me.
I just reread your post, and it makes me want to cry.
for the sake of mercy, i have to point out that the story was highly summarized, and that there were alot of other mitigating circumstances that went towards my unattentiveness at the moment. i was in a daze (30 mile bike runs will do that), the chess thing was highly rushed (fish was headed to the airport 5:30am the next morning), etc. none of these are excuses for my stupidity, but i thought id bring them up.
i just reread my post, and i am crying.
So is this Starbucks far from you? You could always go hang out there once in a while in the hope that you’d run into her again… I know, it sounds lame, but it’s like you just won the lottery but didn’t read the numbers right and threw your ticket away.
we actually do frequent that particular starbucks alot. fingers will be crossed.
and on a more optimistic note, its at least good to know i can still attract people other than gay males.
Dude. No more biking for you! All that riding is fucking with your judgment!
my man-friendly bike seat must be malfunctioning.
ha,you should remind these peoples that they dont have cute natalie portman look-a-likes coming up to THEM (bwuhahaha)
hmm, that is true. i still fucked up, but thanks for that perspective.
boys are dorks! 😉
yo is that a boob shot?
not only was that a boob shot, it was also a short shorts shot.
#1 Girls hate feeling rejected or awkward.
This is one reason why they will rarely
blatantly hit on a guy and prefer instead
to drop hints.
But if a random girl ever approaches you
in a public space like that odds are you
have a pretty reasonable shot at her.
You better get up to speed quick, otherwise
she will feel awkward, and drop you entirely —
even if she was pretty interested in the
first place.
#2 Once you get a random girl chatting with
you for a bit. Try to figure out what your
both comfortable talking about. So you can
both feel confident about the conversation
(i.e. “chess” would have worked). Once you
get some kind of juice flowing. See if there
is any kind of chemistry, and the purposefully
cut the conversation short. (You know like
when a TV series tries to end when its doing
well. That way it keeps its fans coming back
for more. heheh)
Just say you have to do something… even if
you don’t. (i.e. leave that starbucks)
When you are leaving be sure to say something
like “Would it be ok if I give you a call sometime?”
Most likely you may get something. Push for
getting her number though, instead of handing
out yours if possible.
#3 This works like a charm:
Make a beautiful girl feel like she is smart.
Make a smart girl feel like she is beautiful.
If she is both intelligent and beautiful. Ummm…
Good luck man.
#4 This is like… mid game stuff. But…
The common mistake most guys make when they
have a girl interested in them is they grow
too eager and lack patience. I.E. They try
to get the girl in bed quickly or make some kind
of official “something or other” of their
undefined relationship.
Best thing to do is be patient and persistent,
but really pay attention to the pace the girl
wants to go at, and keep up.
I.E. Don’t be relaxed when she finally wants
to go fast.
#5 Its such a laundry list of chores. But the
start game always belongs to the woman, and
you have to know how to deal with them, to
even just land a first date. Once the game
starts going, the ball switches over to guys
court (for a little bit).
But because its her game at first.
If at the beginning, she makes clear that she
is not interested, or if you just generally get
that sense. Just move on. Quickly. This will
increase your sucess rate dramatically.
ok…
In the meantime, don’t sweat it man.
The next girl will be along in no time. =)