gaming + toys

internet dickery

perusing today’s penny arcade and then reading the subsequent story (i’m not a console gamer, so it’s all news to me) reminded again that there is a vast sea of dickery out there in the gaming world.  for the most part it’s easy to avoid, or in my particular case of warcraft gaming, the instances of dickery are usually so infantile that it’s easy to channel out.

i found it coincidental then that i had to deal with my own dickery as recently as yesterday.  as any wow gamer knows, the daily pug (pick-up group for the uninitiated) is a ritual many go thru to get their shiny emblems.  i usually get mine out of the way early in the evening before a raid or just logging off and heading out the door.  i’ve been lucky, in that the groups i’m usually tossed into have been amiable.  yesterday pretty much shit all over that semi-flawless track record.  the run itself started off pretty bad.  upon zoning in (cos), the healer states he needs to break for 5 minutes to go shit.  i go “wtf”, while the tank decides to just leave.  awesome.  a new tank arrives shortly, but starts bitching about the length of the “role-play” until he notices that we’re already well into the dialogue.  red flags go up however as he liberally tosses out “fag” and “shit” in his typical communiqué.  fine, whatever.  we get thru the first half, and then the healer decides to bail too all of a sudden.  maybe he was clairvoyant.

a replacement arrives and we continue on.  the tank wants to do an achievement, and dishes out vague and retarded directions to the rogue to do so and so.  the rogue does as he’s told, and we don’t get the achievement.  more “fags” are tossed about in party chat.  i tell him to shut the fuck up.  he immediately retorts with “no you” (oh shit), and proceeds to go on a diatribe about how i’m fat (hardly) and a nerd (possibly) and have never seen a vagina (i have…they’re nice).  i’m unaccustomed to being bombared with 3rd grade insults, so i just tell him to stop breathing and point out that he’s a fucking idiot for calling others nerds while within an online game.  he continues on about people not having seen vaginas and butchering the use of “your” vs “you’re”.  its intolerable.  i’m mashing the ‘vote to kick’ option but we’re in combat.  by the time i can however, we’re at the last boss, and i think “fuck it”.  we jump on the last boss, i notice the little dick’s not tanking…so i proceed to tank and kill the boss with little to worry about.  i type out a last message suggesting he’s a failure at many things, including this game and life, and leave immediately.  in hindsight (of course), i…and we as a party, could’ve probably 1. gotten him killed on the last boss, 2. had him kicked properly, or 3. track down his personal info and hire professional hitmen to torment him and anyone he’s associated with.  the first and second didn’t happen for various reasons, and the third option can be costly and possibly illegal.  so i just put in a ticket to a gm to have him suspended.  hopefully we’ll hear good news today!

archive | favorites, gaming + toys, journal

world of warcraft 5th anniversary

you know what today is?  it’s the 5th anniversary of me having sold my soul to the dark overlord of world of warcraft.  ya, it’s been 5 years since i started this cocaine of mmo’s.  i’m not sure who could’ve guessed back then how big it would get.  people anticipated the game to be a massive success…but, yea…i’m not sure they knew just how massive.  prior to wow coming out, everquest was considered a success at a “whopping” 400,000+ subscribers.  wow currently sits at over 11 million subscribers and counting.  and given that it’s shown no signs of letting up, i thought it’d be fun to celebrate this 5th anniversary by giving a thorough historical recap of my time with the game, for all two of you out there who give a fucking shit.

VANILLA WOW
so the year was 2004, and the world was different.  the “horseless carriage” had just been introduced, and there were talks of “flying contraptions”….just kidding.  it was a different world tho.  the economy didn’t suck, but we did have a halfwit for president. as a result, the world was pretty bleh, so it was the perfect time to introduce an mmo where people could escape to.  fonz, mike, and i jumped on board on launch day, along with a few bajillion people around the country.  we were tossed onto the realm “khadgar”, where i rolled a perky human mage and went about toasting hapless sheep with fireballs.  then the server (along with a couple others) promptly shit itself under the strain of a thousand nerds.  damnit.  we got a message saying that the server would most likely be “shit” for a while, so we headed to another server, “llane”.  this was a brand new “second day” east coast server, one of a couple they brought online to handle the crush of people apparently trying to escape the real world.  i rolled a night elf hunter this time, slapped on the name “moya” (my last character in morrowind was moya, hence i reused it as legacy), and off i went.

that’s moya attempting to navigate the subway between ironforge and stormwind.  shit was complex, k?  after a few months power-leveling on my own, i hooked up with my first guild on the server, emperor’s thousand.  it was a relatively small, casual guild…noticeable given that i was the highest level toon in guild at the time i joined.  the people were cool, and we had fun.  i however eventually got a bit bored (i was part of the first group of 60’s on the server), and joined up with a hardcore raid guild called ‘rapture‘.  i bailed on them however after a few days after i deemed the hardcore lifestyle “retarded“, and went back to et.  the boredom lingered however, and fonz and i ventured off for a brief period of time to the doomhammer server to run with ars discordia, an ars clan guild.

i rolled another hunter named “northern” and took him to 60 relatively fast.  that’s the guild above getting the main tank burley his thunderfury btw.  oohs and ahs.  the guild didn’t seem like a fit tho, so we found ourselves wandering back to llane and et.  some time later, the guild had a bit of a meltdown (partially instigated by fonz, mike, and i), and we reformed into ‘orichalcum‘ with me as the guild leader (kek!).  shortly after that, we began successfully running molten core with an alliance of guilds. a few months into that with a couple boss kills under our belt, we decided to merge into one guild called ‘etherion‘.  riveting shit, isn’t it?

i forgot to mention too.  back then, everybody and their fucking sisters was a night elf hunter, so i had at some point rolled a priest named “jema”.  nobody wanted to be a healer, so i figured shit…i can do that.  the priest pretty much became my main throughout the entirety of “vanilla” wow.  i spent my nights playing healer “whack a mole” with people who liked standing in the proverbial “stupid shit”.  i had also leveled a paladin named “soja” to 60, but shelved her because pally’s sucked massive.  then came the burning crusade…the first expansion.

THE BURNING CRUSADE
i went back to my first toon, moya, for the duration of bc.  that last image was near the end of bc and during the beijing olympics.  we got spiffy limited edition tabards and a pet dragon…word.  bc for me was summed up with one word…alts.  a fuck-ton.  maybe it was something to do with what the game became.  but in the interim that was bc, alongside my hunter and priest, i also rolled a draenei shaman (sonatine), a draenei warrior (murata), and brought over my second hunter from doomhammer (juno) and took him to 70 also.  i was nearing absolute boredom, so the upcoming second expansion, wrath of the lich king, was a godsend.

WRATH OF THE LICH KING
the top picture is of me graduating with the first class of death knights…wooha!  the aforementioned alts of bc probably burned me out on all the ‘classic’ classes.  so when the new death knight class came out with lk, i rolled a night elf named “veil” and never looked back.  at this point tho, the guild had evolved into something “shit”.  i had stepped down as guild leader and officer during bc, and thought i had left the guild in capable hands.  leadership however eventually made its way into the hands of what i would term “retards”, and their direction and mine gradually shifted apart.  fonz had already left for the pvp server chromaggus and another ars guild, ars brute squad before the expansion came out…he had similar reservations with the guilds direction long before i did.  so when the 3.1 patch hit, i said “fuck it” and left the server, along with a few friends that were still on llane, for chromaggus to rejoin fonz.

chromaggus is where i currently reside with my new blood elf death knight sonatine, and my transferred characters jema (horo) and moya (juno).  word…i’ll see you in-game.

gaming + toys

classic gaming

one of my new favorite sites to waste time at…shmups! its a site for classic shoot’em-ups (shmups, duh), and i can’t help but get nostalgic going thru some of the classics. and when i say classics, i mean classics of my era. i’m not talking about dinky atari or collecovision. we’re in the sega genesis, snes, and dreamcast era. definitely a formative era of gaming. i was a big fan of the side-scrollers back when i had a sega genesis (1st gen too). thunderforce iii, gaiares, hellfire, and one of my all-time favorites to this day, musha, one of the best shooters…evar. i fucking hate that i sold my entire genesis collection. wtf was i thinking?!?! what makes it even more painful was that i used to enjoy taking out the box art and replacing it with my own hand-drawn versions…golden axe, altered beast, revenge of shinobi, streets of rage. god i wish i still had those. now all those memories are relegated to uploaded videos on youtube.

i’ll admit, i shed a tear watching the intro and ending. *sniff*

gaming + toys

prince of darkness

since im back on my addiction in a baaad way, i thought id post up this new commercial for the lich king, featuring the original prince of darkness…ozzy osbourne! its one of the better “whats your game” commercials theyve made, right up there with the original mr. t spot…that was all kinds of rock. other celebrities featured in the past included william shatner, verne troyer, and foreign spots with jean-claude van damme (lolz!) as well as a new one (alongside ozzy) with silvio dante.

“well maybe you’re the one whos been riding a #?@! crazy train, but i’ve been the prince of darkness since 1979!”